Oh yea, I said it, out loud too. You may have the same question. It’s okay. When I was growing up, I was taught that you don’t question God as though it was a sin. However, as I have gotten older and have my own personal relationship with Him, I’ve never read anywhere in the Bible that it says that I can’t question God. Maybe this notion of not questioning God came from the book of Job where a series of tragic events take place in his life leaving him with nothing but his life. He lost everything he had, his possessions, his children, his wife and even his health began to fail. So, as any of us would do, Job began to question why all of these things were happening to him. Not only did Job have questions, he wished he had never been born. After all, he was consider a righteous man. How could God allow such tragedy to hit his life? To add insult to injury, he had three friends that we trying to convince him that clearly there was something he had done to cause this. This can’t be happening for no reason. However, after a period of time, God answered Job’s questions but I’m sure it’s wasn’t the response he was expecting to here. God responded to Job with quite a few questions of His own. That’s just great, answer a question with a question. With all of the questions and reminders that God gave Job in his reply, He never said that Job could not question Him. He was merely trying to get Job to understand and realize that “your thoughts are not my thoughts and your ways are not my ways” (Isaiah 55:8-9). Even if you don’t understand what I do, I know what I’m doing. Whew that’s a relief. For a minute God I thought you had left me all alone and that I had done something wrong.
How many of us as survivors have felt this way? How many of us, especially those of us who believe in God (doesn’t matter if we don’t believe in the same God), question where were you and how could you let such terrible things happen to me? I know I did. For a very long time, I was a little salty with God. I was only seventeen, I was trying to do what was right. I was trying to save myself for marriage then this happens and He allowed it. Wow, now that makes no sense at all. For those that have not read my bio, God did answer my question after many years and it was simple. His response was “I was there. When you cried, I cried. When you hurt, I hurt. But I had to allow it because there was something I needed you to do.” Hum, okay. I don’t mind doing what God wants me to do but couldn’t we have done this another way. Couldn’t I have just taken a class for it? Simply put some things you will never fully understand and grasp until you’ve gone through it.
Job story ends with him receiving twice as much as he had before. His possession were restored, his siblings were there to comfort him, and he had more children. Hum, life after was far better than life prior too. The same is true in the life of a survivor. Although what we have gone through, be it rape, sexual assault, molestation, incest, or a combination of all of these, was terrible and wrong, we did not cause it. God was there. Often times more than we can understand, he allowed it to happen for a purpose and a reason that reaches beyond what we can see and feel right now. On the journey to healing, it’s bit hard to see and grasp the concept that there can be good that comes out of our pain. I know for a fact, God has not forgotten about you and he longs to heal the hidden wounds of your life. However, you have to release the fear of offending God if we ask the questions that we have. After all, he already knows we have them so why hide it. You won’t get an answer to the question, if you never ask them.
Today is Good Friday. The day that many different religions reflect on the death, burial and resurrection of our savior Jesus Christ, consider taking your burdens, your hurts, your questions, etc. and nail them to the cross. Know that God loves you and He was there when these things happened to you and He longs to give you double for your trouble. He wants to take you hurt and turn it into a stepping stone to your destiny.God Loves You and So Do I!!
What questions do you have? Ask Him. He can handle it and actually already knows that you have them. So, why not ask?