Today marks the final day of February and the final day of Black History Month 2017. As I sit and think about our African American history, I think of the many things I’ve been taught about our heritage and culture. One thing I’ve been taught and probably has been ingrained in the mind of almost every little black girl is that black women are strong and independent. Yep, we are indeed that. But if we be truthful with ourselves, sometimes that’s the most positive thing society may say about us. Maybe even the most positive thing we say to ourselves. However, the rest of the comments can be very negative. You know "the angry black women syndrome". LOL, we aren’t angry but we do have a low tolerance for ignorance and bs. I recently read a blog in the Huffington Post originally written in December of 2014 by Kara Stevens called "7 Adjectives to Accurately Describe Black Women Other Than ‘Strong’ and ‘Independent'"(click here to read the full blog). She sent out a survey to 75 black women asking them to describe themselves and here’s what she compiled:
Sexy and Sensual
Hum, we are all of those things too. But what does that have to do with prayer and counseling, right? Well, actually it has a lot to do with one another. Because we are spiritual and because we are strong and independent, we often rely on those attributes to get us through some of the most difficult times of our lives. How many times have we heard the words “girl, just pray about it” from our friends, family and church folks when we are going through a difficult time? Sometimes, tooo many to count, as though we didn’t already do that. Now, before I go any further let me be very clear, I’m not saying don’t pray. I’m not saying to not have faith in God. However, (comma), I do want us to understand that yes pray changes things but there is a part we have to do as well. The Bible tells us that faith without works is dead, right? Cool, so now that you know I’m not telling you to denounce your faith and stop praying let’s move forward.
Unfortunately, black women have been the victims of rape and abuse long before now. Many women experienced such abuse while in the houses and fields of their slave masters. Many have experienced it at the hands of their fathers, husbands and/or boyfriends. Sadly, because we have been taught that what goes on in the house stays in the house, we often suffer in silence. We may tell someone but are quickly shushed and told to not tell anyone. We are told to just pray about it. Well, we did pray about it. As a matter of fact, we prayed before, during and after and you know what it still happened. Now what? I think I’m bout all prayed out on this situation and if we be real, I still feel the same way I did when it happened. If not worse. I’m still broken on the inside. Hum, but to everyone else I’m strong and independent. Why wouldn’t they think that? Nobody knows what happened or that I cry myself to sleep at night or that I feel this strong urge to want to give up or just plain die because the pain seems unbearable and won’t go away. And God forbid if grandma knew that I questioned just exactly where was God when I was being raped, molested, etc.
Well ladies, there is hope and you can still do all the things that grandma and 'nem taught us. It’s called COUNSELING. For most black women, going to church is our counseling. Honestly, to an extent it can be. Only at church can you have a full fledge meltdown and nobody ask you what’s wrong. Ha, they’ll just think you’re in the spirit, right? LOL. But imagine what our lives could be like and how much true healing and deliverance we could experience if we combined our trust and faith in God with someone who has been trained and/or ordained to help us. What if we went to church, prayed to God and asked him to show us who would be the right person that He has equipped and empowered to help us through this. Did we ever consider why everyone has a different job? If we had a broken leg or high blood pressure, we wouldn’t just say pray about that. No, we’d be down at the doctor’s office and taking the medicine they prescribed right?
So why not go to counseling and pray all at the same time? You haven’t lost your faith and trust in God if you do. I can assure you God won't be mad at you. After all, He's the one that gave them the knowledge and heart to be a counselor in the first place. Going to counseling and being able to verbalize what happened, how I felt about it, and recognizing how it was and had been controlling every little piece of my life, was the best decision I ever made.
What would stop you from seeking godly counsel?